Durex Makes The Long Distance Relationship More Tolerable

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Back in the year 2001 I predicted that within 20 years there would be sex devices that would be plugged into a computer and we could engage in simulated sex with someone across the world wide web. People thought I was crazy, but low and behold, Durex drops the bomb today that they’re putting the finishing touches on special clothing that can vibrate via a phone app. That means that if your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/random stranger is far far away from you, you can kind of “do it” via technology.

More on this at Telegraph

James

Vivid, Chaotic & Shocking Video Of The Boston Marathon Explosion

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Raw footage from the finish line captures just how insane and chaotic the situation in Boston is.

James

Lego Withdraws Jabba The Hut Playset From Austria Due To Muslim Outcry

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Turkish-Muslim groups in Austria are claiming victory this week after successfully getting Lego to cease selling it’s Jabba’s Palace playset in the country.

 

From The Independent

Furious Muslim critics complained that the Lego set’s Asian and oriental figures were “deceitful and criminal” characters such as gun-runners, slave masters and terrorists.

“This sort of thing does not belong in a child’s bedroom,” said Melissa Gunes, a spokeswoman for Austria’s Turkish Cultural Association. Critics also claimed that the palace had an uncanny resemblance to Istanbul’s Hagia Sophia mosque. “The game is pedagogical dynamite. It depicts Muslims as terrorists,” the TCA complained, adding that Jabba was shown to be a “terrorist who likes to smoke hookah and have his victims killed”. It appealed to Lego to withdraw the product immediately.

Lego initially dug in its heels and refused the request. The company insisted the product was merely a faithful reproduction. “We see no reason to take it off the market, we have simply followed the film,” the company said.

But yesterday it emerged it had backed down and agreed to end its production from 2014 onwards. The decision followed a meeting in Munich between Turkish community leaders and Lego executives. Birol Killic, the president of the TCA, said in a statement: “We are very grateful and congratulate Lego on the decision to take Jabba’s Palace out of production.”

 

Guys, This is JABBA THE FREAKING HUT!! He’s a space slug! He’s not a freaking Muslim, Budhist or Catholic! He’s not Asian or Middle Eastern! He’s a Hutt gangster from space!

This makes me so, so, so freaking angry.

 

James/NB

Go Home Tank, You’re Drunk. (Literally)

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This comes from Russia, where they have a big military, everyone has a dash cam due to fraud and people drink vodka like water. Earlier this year, all three of those things came into play when a dashcam allegedly caught a tank being driven while drunk in broad daylight, smashing into a lamp post.

Two Headed Shark Discovered

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This two headed shark was caught off the coast of the Florida Keys. It’s the first bull shark on record to be born with two heads. It’s confounding scientists.

James

A Store Is Now Charging Patrons For “Just Looking”

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A fine way to retain customers, to be sure. Here’s the sign posted outside of Celiac Supplies in Brisbane Australia.

 

James

Supposedly “Dead” Deer Jumps Out Of Trunk, Scares Cops

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Cops pulled a car over for a routine check in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Apparently in Michigan, you can keep the roadkill you hit, but you have to go out and get a deer kill permit following the incident. Well the driver of the car proceeds to tell the cops that he hit the deer and was taking it home. The police offered to write him up a permit and as they went to pop the trunk to look at the supposedly dead animal, the little deer jumped out and ran off into the woods. Apparently he was only stunned, making for a hilarious video and great story.

James

Are You A Social Farter?

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I normally don’t find potty humor funny, but this is hilarious. And topical.

James

Danish TV News Uses Shot Of Assasins Creed When Discussing Syria

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Well, it’s not as bad as the BBC using a Halo logo when discussing the United Nations Security Council last year, but it’s still pretty bad. Interspersed with actual images from the Syrian civil war was a sweeping shot from Assassin’s Creed, which was an approximation of what Damascus looked like 720 years ago.

Please, please use a clip from GTA: San Andreas when talking about Los Angeles. Someone. Do it.

 

JC

Emporer Palpatine Spotted In Ultrasound Image

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Personally, I can’t stand it when people post pictures of their uterus after getting an ultrasound done. Especially if you make it your profile picture, because then I’m talking to a vessel for your child’s next few months, not you. However, this is one ultrasound picture I’d be ok with seeing regularly and I’d pause in awe.

Look familiar? Look again. It’s Emperor Palpatine.

The image showed up Heather Large’s ultrasound last week. The 39 year old is in her 20th week of pregnancy and it appears as if she’s giving birth to the Sith lord.

Feel The Hate Flow Through You.

JC

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