Mount Norquay opens today, officially kicking off the ski and snowboard season in Canada. In honour of that, here are the top 10 people you can expect to see on the hill.
10. Dieter – Visiting from Germany with his family, Dieter is totally shit-talking you in German in the Gondola
9. Olivia – She’s the child prodigy. She could snowboard before she could walk. She’s hitting jumps at 3, and you purposely stay away from her because you don’t want to admit that a 3 year old is better than you.
8. Jeff – Jeff’s been putting off school for another year to snowboard since 1998.
7. Tyler – He has the go-pro strapped to his helmet & a full camera crew with him yet when you look to him to be impressed, he’s still at the pizza phase, not QUITE to french fries yet.
6. Derek – Derek was dragged here by his friends even though he can’t ski. This will be derek’s only run of the day.
5. Jaxson The accident waiting to happen: Fresh out of ski school – thinks he’s a pro Tucks and goes, completely out of control under the chair lift
4. Hannah – She’s here from Australia on a work Visa and much to everyone’s delight, Hannah thinks it’s fun to ride in a bikini top when it’s warm out.
3. Molly – Molly and her family are in town from Vancouver. Molly’s wearing better gear than the pros, it’s brand new top of the line stuff, but I’m not sure she knows how to USE it.
2. Terry – wears an Oilers jersey and jeans. Aviators instead of goggles and no gloves so he can smoked darts more easily
1. Gord – Gord’s brother Terry invited him out for a ski weekend but he hasn’t hit the slopes since the 80’s. He dusted off the ole’ neon Sun Ice jacket, which still has every lift ticket on it. He loves the sound those lift tickets makes in the wind: pft ffpt fpt fpt ftp
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