We’ve compiled a list of our top 10 favourite names for old ladies. You may find your grandma or her sisters on this list.
10. Agnes – Agnes used to make everything herself, and BECAUSE Of this, can’t STAND the quality of things bought from stores. if something isn’t to her liking, she’s not afraid to write a letter to the company.
9. Mildred – Mildred is so sweet that it hides how ridiculously tough she is. She delivered 8 kids IN HER HOUSE with no pain medication. She was a nurse in the war and she’s seen some stuff.
8. Mavis – Mavis is a little nosy… She IS a gardner, but I think the only reason for that is so she can sit outside and check up on our neighbours.
7. Gladys – Gladys should NOT Be driving anymore. Her Buick is all scraped up and she can barely see out the windshield due to a thick layer of cigarette smoke.
6. Joyce – Joyce is a bit of a hippy. She still likes to indulge in the occasional mushroom, and a little bit of marijuana. Sometimes people think her memory is slipping, nope it’s just the weed.
5. Beryl – Even though her name sounds like you’re trying to quietly let out a burp, Beryl is all class. She smells like that old lady perfume that burns the hair off the inside of your nostrils. She drinks Brandy and once brushed Frank Sinatra’s butt at a party.
4. Betty – Betty is a sweet little lady… She’s very proper, and MOST of the time, very quiet, until it comes to football.. Then something changes in her for NFL season. She HAS been known to occassionally throw her dentures at the TV in anger.
3. Doreen – You KNOW Doreen was a fox in her younger days. She goes to the salon every monday to keep her hair dyed blonde and has more spring in her step than a woman half her age.
2. Phyllis – phyllis likes bingo. A lot. She gets really into it, and sometimes forgets you’re not allowed to smoke darts in the bingo hall any more. The bingo-hall-workers know this and always keep an eye on her
1. Blanche – unfortunately, Blanche’s mind has slipped a bit and she hasn’t REALLY known where she was since 2008. Blanche! Blanche!
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