In honour of the federal government’s announcement that recreational marijuana should be legal by Canada Day, 2018, these are our Top 10 Stoner Names.
Before anyone gets upset, we know weed is medicine too. This isn’t about medicinal users. These are the recreational stoners we all know and love. You can listen to the on-air version of this list here.
10. Blaise – That’s not even his real name although he tries to convince you of it. In reality he changed it himself so he could say “it’s time to blaze with blaze”.
9. Pat – Works at the head shop, only wears hemp pullovers in the rastafarian colour scheme.
8. Josh – He has a 20 thousand dollar sound system in his basement JUST so that he can jam on the guitar while high and make it sound good. He plays ALL the time but for some reason he’s never joined a band.
7. Megan – Sells a bit of weed on the side to pay for her own supply. Doesn’t wear a bra.
6. Leanne – She’s a sneak-a-toker. No one at work knows she smokes weed and she prefers it that way. But when she goes home and lets her hair down you BET the FIRST thing she does is smoke a bowl
5. Rob – has an important job that requires him to wear a suit, and you’d never know how much he smokes. Doesn’t like that his stoner friends often use him as an example of how marijuana smokers can be successful too.
4. Pete – His parents actually named him after Peter Tosh in hopes the torch, or torched joint more like, would be passed down to their son.
3. Jen – Has two kids but only smokes after they’ve gone to bed and NEVER while breastfeeding. Ok, maybe once or twice while breastfeeding.
2. Miranda – She dresses very bohemian and is laid back almost to a fault. She loses things all the time, including her shoes. It’s okay though because shoes feel restrictive anyway.
1. Chris – White guy with dreadlocks. Volunteers at the Christian youth group and believes that if God didn’t want us to smoke pot, he wouldn’t have put it here.